It’s no secret that I have been diagnosed with major depression.
For me, it comes from a place I am still unsure about. The therapist says one thing, I say another. Either way….it’s something I have to deal with. It never goes away. I have awesome days, I have good days, I have ok days and I have really bad days.
So what brings this up today?
I immediately broke down crying.
The other day I was having a conversation with my BFF and I couldn’t explain how depression felt. Yes, when I have great days I might be great for weeks…even months. But underneath everything, I have that nagging voice who whispers what a loser I am, how stupid what I said was. How I will never ever be good enough for my husband, my kids, my friends. On the outside, I portray a put-together woman. Inside, I am mostly everything else.
Depression is hard. I sit in my living room and wonder why it has to be like this for me.
I am very lucky to have a very supportive group of people around me. Both people who have and who haven’t had to deal with depression before. They lift me up when I need it and hold my hand when I am crying. I know that not everyone has that same support.
I was able to go through a mental health facility for an intensive summer of therapy and group classes. It helped tremendously. Check for details in your city.
And if you ever feel like you’ve reached a point where suicide is an option (no judgement here – I’ve been there)….call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Anytime. 24/7. 1-800-273-TALK(8255)
Until next time….