Day 1 – Mamavation Monday

Day 1. What does that mean exactly? 

It’s a new day.  A fresh start.  A brand spanking new weight loss blog.  New friends and a great support system.

I am excited to start this journey.  Its been a long time coming, that is for sure!  I wanted to take this time to document the past… I can more into the future.

I’ve been overweight for a good chunk of my life.  My parents divorced when I was 8ish and we moved out of state with my Dad.  All that is fine and good……until middle school.  We lived in Brunswick, OH at the time and I was a very, very shy girl.  Coming into a new school, not knowing anyone….well, that was too much for me to handle.  My Dad worked in Cleveland, OH which was a good 45 minutes away.  He would have to leave before my brother and I caught the school bus.  As soon as he would leave, I would hit the pantry.  We always had some sort of Hostess snack.  Suzie Q’s were my favorite.  I would gorge on those…eating 4 or 5 or 6…enough that I would make myself sick.  Then I would call my Dad and tell him I was too sick to go to school.  I did this at least 3 times a week.  When I did go to school, I didn’t eat any lunch.  He finally sat me down and told me that I couldn’t do that anymore and that if I hated it so much, he would move us.  In a heartbeat.  And so we did.

And this was my first binge/emotional eating episode. 

For years, I didn’t eat lunch at school.  Until 10th grade.  We moved back home – to Spokane, WA.  I met my best friend and finally, I had someone to sit at lunch with!  I was 145 and felt so fat!!  I would sit in the desk with my legs propped up so that my thighs wouldn’t spread.  I wore longer sweaters and shirts.  I let the fact that I felt fat ruin a lot of things in high school. 

After high school, I gained about 60 lbs.  When I met my husband, I was 200 lbs.  I managed to lose about 20lbs when I moved to New Orleans to be with him and I got a job.  Then I got pregnant with my son in 2002.  I only gained 15 lbs with him and was back to 200 lbs within a month.  Then I lost my job and was unemployed for a year.  And I gained 30 lbs.  Next came my daughter, and I gained another 20 lbs.  So I was sitting at 255 after my daughter was born.

My husband and I went on a diet 2 years ago.  We counted calories, journaled our food daily, exercised.  He lost 35 lbs. and I lost 30 lbs.  We even went to Vegas during that time and I didn’t gain 1 pound!  I felt good and I knew that I was getting healthy.

Then I had a health scare……and I my weight in back up.  262.  Two hundred and sixty two pounds.  I am miserable.  I am depressed.  I feel out of control of my life.  I have no motivation.

And that is why I need you all.  And that is why I need to blog this journey.  It’s time to be honest about me….about my life….about my weight.  It’s about time to own my issues and to quit making excuses!

Thank you for the warm welcome so far.  I can’t wait to know you all!

Until next time…….



8 thoughts on “Day 1 – Mamavation Monday

  1. Hey chickie. Okay so I am curious, is your husband supportive of your efforts this time around? Sounds like he will be. Let's hope so 🙂 If not, tell him he better get his butt in gear :)I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I have been overweight my entire life. I have no clue at all what it feels like to be skinny. However I did once lose 90 pounds on a low carb diet when I was 21 (I'm 29 now). I gained it all back over the course of several years during which I was in an abusive relationship. So trust me I know all about the stress of life causing you to gain weight. It seems like you might blame yourself for your weight issues. I think you should start right there and forgive yourself for all of it if you do hold any blame or guilt inside. Listen, we all have our ways of coping with life. And food may be what got you through life's trials to this point. And that's okay. Now you are choosing to go down a different path and find new and healthier ways to cope. This is how we grow. I promise you if you stick with the ladies on here you are going to start feeling really hopeful and productive very soon. Remember, even though losing weight is about your body, you must master control of your mind in order to do it successfully and keep it off. So it all starts inside. Forgive yourself! And be proud of yourself for persevering! You have not given up, because you are here today writing this blog and joining the Sistahood. That speaks volumes about your inner strength. 🙂

  2. Welcome to Mamavation and the Sistahood! It sounds like it's been a tough road for you and I won't kid you, this is a journey not a day trip. That being said, I have no doubt that you can do this. Just take it one babystep at a time. You've already made a great first one by joining Mamavation where the ladies will love you and support you.

  3. WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME! So glad you are joining us and I look forward to getting to know you along the way! If there is ever ANYTHING you need, PLEASE reach out because while this is an AMAZING Supportive group, I don't think any of us are pyschic (psychotic maybe;) ) Seriously though, PLEASE reach out because no matter what you are dealing with or facing, you are NEVER alone 🙂 I'm @momma_oz on twitter and mildly… ok highly addicted to twitter 🙂 Again – WELCOME!!!

  4. Welcome darling! Your life kinda mirrors mine. I have an eating disorder as well. I was 253 lbs. when I started. It may seem like you are trapped, but your physical appearance is temporary. It doesn't define you…you define you. I know what it feel like to hide from the world and be embarrassed by your size, but you have an amazing group of women that will love you for who you are now. We are all in this together. XXOO

  5. Welcome to Mamavation Andrea. Just being able to recognize that you emotionally eat is a huge step. Best of luck on your journey and if you ever need to talk I am @Aries_Mommy on twitter.

  6. @Linz: My husband is pretty supportive. He is trying to lose weight too. The problem with him is that he can lose weight just by thinking about it. Damn men! lol Thank you for your support. My eating is MOST DEFINTIELY my coping mechanism. Most definitely. I can't wait to get to a place where I want to run instead of eat. Love ya darling!@Katie: THANK YOU!!! I've been so warmly welcomed. It's awesome!@Shelley: Thank you!! I've actually been following your blog for months so it is nice to be able to actually communicate with you. :)@Bookieboo: First of, thank you! You are such an inspiration! Secondly, I call my son Boobyboo….so I appologize in advance of any spelling mistakes. LOL@Aries Mommy: Thanks!!! I am amazed by the support I have received just on my first day here. It's truly fantastic.

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