Controversy Is Not My Thing

But I am going there anyway.

I’ve had this topic on my mind for a while now.  It’s been covered ad nauseum, I understand.  But I just can’t stop thinking about it so…..

Gay Marriage

That’s right.  I said it.

Today my husband took me out for dinner.  Afterwards, we needed to stop by the store.  Out front, a lady holding petition clipboards with a hand drawn sign on her folding table that said “Protect Marriage”.  As we walked up to the door, she said “Can I get your signature?” (or something like that, I don’t remember her exact words now).  She wasn’t forceful….in fact, I don’t think she even wanted to be there.  But she asked and I immediately said “No” and kept walking.  I also muttered “Not for that” but I am sure she didn’t hear it.

Here is my problem….why?  I don’t get the big deal.  So Billy and John or Rebecca and Lily want to get married.  I can see how people would think it controversial.  Fine.  And you believe in a marriage between a man and a woman?  Awesome.  Then you are most likely married to a person of the opposite sex.  Amazing for you.  But what does Billy and John wanting to get married have to do with your marriage or your life?

I’ve heard from people that gay marriage is unnatural, it is a sin, it weakens the definition of marriage, kids get confused on gender roles, etc.

All of this thinking got me on google.  You can find anything on google.

In straight couples, 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.  To me, this doesn’t prove that people find marriage to be as sacred as some want us to believe.

The Bible is pretty outdated in what can and cannot be acceptable in society.  This is just my opinion (and a million others’).  I am sure you’ve all seen this letter to Dr. Laura and while there seems to be some mystery as to the author of this letter, it still makes some great points.  I am 100% sure that the Bible shouldn’t be followed literally and instead use as more of a guideline for how to live a good and spiritual life.

Maggie Gallagher, a huge face in the anti-gay marriage campaign, has said “My concern is that marriage really matters because children need a mom and a dad, and after gay marriage, I can’t say that anymore.”  Why?  I would think that the main concern for children (born to you, adopted, whatever) would be to have two parents who love you, who support you and who can financially and emotionally protect you.

Thinking about gender roles….if my husband does most of the housework and I do all of the yard work, will my children be confused?  Because that is the case in my house.  I would rather play outside, cut the grass, deal with the yard then do dishes or laundry.

I know I am stirring the pot here.  I am completely aware that for every one person who believes that gay marriage is nothing but good…there are 5 people who are against it.  I know all of this and I know that my words will anger people too.  I HOPE that we can all be adults and share open and honest opinions without name calling or being nasty (luckily, since this is my blog, I get to moderate those comments and delete the ones I feel don’t add to any conversation).  I have plenty of friends and family who do not believe in gay marriage and I still love them and they still love me.

I’ll leave you with this thought.  Interracial marriages were illegal until 1967 when it became legal in all states.   Had the Supreme Court not made that decision, this awesome family would never had existed:


And that,, my friends, would have been a tragedy indeed.

Until next time……….


10 thoughts on “Controversy Is Not My Thing

  1. The comparison to interracial marriage is what I always come back to too. And apparently there are still people today who find that “unnatural”. And I think (but am too lazy to look up) the latest statistic on interracial marriages in the US is something like 1 in 8 couples. Which sounded like a lot to me, until I realized it’s still only 12%. Which means, nearly 90% of married couples are still of a single race!? Nearly 40 years after it became legal.

    So to those who fear that legalizing gay marriage is going to “turn everyone gay” or something. Fear not.

    I feel like tossing in my 2 cents, so here you go:

    I think the government should get the heck out of “marriage” all together. I think the word “marriage” should be reserved for religious institutions, and they can “marry” whoever they deem appropriate. The catch is, that “marriage” only applies within the confines of their church.

    As far as the government is concerned, the rights presently accorded to married couples, should become the rights accorded to civil unions. These civil unions can be formed by any 2 consenting adults.

    So, in my little scheme (which may not be entirely thought out, so feel free to poke holes) I envision that 2 people fall in love, and then, if it’s serious, can decide if they want to merge their family legally (Civil Union) and spiritually/religiously/etc. The former means going to the courthouse, getting the certificate, blood test, etc. and now you can file taxes jointly and be on each other’s benefits, etc. If the happy couple also has a spiritual inclination (ie wants a wedding and all the fun that goes with that, etc.) then they can seek out a spiritual institution that will support their union and plan their wedding through them. I imagine there would still be “non religious” weddings that will still fulfill people’s desire for a party – just ministered by…whoever is willing to marry 2 people that have no religious leaning.

    Does this make sense? What’s the catch? Why can’t we do it this way?

  2. I think people fear what they don’t understand. Many people I know are judgmental about homosexuality until they get to know someone who is. Same with religion – I was talking with someone who was “afraid” of Muslims until I pointed out that a mutual friend is Muslim. “Oh! Well she seems normal!” was the answer.

    It pains me greatly that many of my friends are judged or rejected because of their sexual orientation, and I really hope that we as a society can move past this quickly.

  3. It’s sort of like someone saying you are racist and you proclaim “But I have a lot of Black friends”. I saw a picture recently of a side-by-side of people protesting segregation and people protesting gay marriage. The caption was something like “One day this will look ridiculous too”. One day………

  4. As long as the government involves itself in marriage, there will be two forms of the institution- Civil and religious. Each faith can define marriage as it see fit, but a government of, by and for the people cannot do so- with the obvious exceptions of pedophiliac or bestial marriage, or incest.

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